LameBrain Refrain

I want to have a chat with the part of my brain
that wants to be lame and pull me into insane
wastes of time losing my mind in worlds that aren't mine.

I know fantasy is a part of me
a shining place where I will always see the best of me and probably
where I will pull the story the fills the world with glory,
but, brain . . . you sure have a funny way of
taking me from creation into a nation of
lost time
lost rhyme
lost minds

So I'm telling you now, I don't know how, but I will not be brought down
by your distract your tactics your practice again of
keeping the words inside where they reside and hide
and fall away for another writer to find.

There's another voice inside of me.
Expect to hear the Sane brain speak up!
I give her permission to speak to you when you brew up
A scheme to postpone my dreams and make me want to scream that

THAT voice will challenge you thus . . .

How do we Break Though when we stare at the phone?
How do we Break Through if we sit home alone?
How do we Break Through while we're watching TV?

Look . . .If it's not about Break Through you won't talk to me!

Not this year you won't - Not this decade - hell no!

I suggest you clear your mess and go
Or get on board
And motivate us
To create us
A heaping plate of

Feminine Power

What is 'feminine power'?  Well, let's be honest, who knows?  Who can even venture a guess without being shouted down by any number of people who are religiously invested in their own concept of the term?

I'm opening the dialogue with this post by sharing a few of my own (non-religiously invested) thoughts informed loosely by some archetypal views on the subject.

Feminine power is dark and non-linear.  
Feminine power is relational and connective.
Feminine power is intuitive and trusting.
Feminine power is flowing and tidal.

She moves with the galloping horse or shifting earth; gently guiding herself to respond and negotiate the path ahead.  She leads others without asking for their allegiance because she is entirely invested in their needs.  Her power is love and her nemesis is loving herself first.

It's a man's world, as the song says.
It is bright and linear
It is compartmentalized and self-sufficient
It is intellectual and analyzing
It is organized and solid

Her response to this world is adaptive, which is why this world of his, called civilization, has thrived...until now...

This world has been ill for some time and the corrections have already manifested.  Corporate leaders are taking courses in vulnerability and intuition.  They are learning that the keys to leadership are relational and that relationships are powered by love.  Millennials are demanding to be loved and refusing to be 'sold' or 'directed' or told that 'the world doesn't work that way'.

And the generation after them is taking it further.

Now women are stepping forward to say 'Hey!  I got this!  This is what we DO!'   

(Full Disclosure: The last line was written in the negative at first.  Women do not seem to know that they are what the world needs more of.  We are so focused on equality and not being 'as bad as the men were' that we shun comparisons and attempt to teach instead of lead.  I chose to rewrite the line as an affirmation of the work I will do with A Woman of Means - alongside many other development courses.)

Let It Go

(NOTE: This is a monologue of sorts.  It feels as though it belongs in a play or a short story.)

"I'm sick again," She said.

What is ill health? Energy workers speak of blockages; places where we catch ourselves up and don't let go. I know now why we don't. It hurts to let go. It hurts. It hurts much more than the twisting pangs of holding on.

You know, the words are so simple yet they surrounded us throughout 2015....

Let it go!, she sings, Let it go!

She. Sings.

Is this woman's power? Is this creation?

Then why is it I turn to charts and graphs and databases, which I have no idea how to originate? No linear mind, mine. And yet, I translate linear things easily. I rejoice in laying down the burden of creation by taking others' work and setting it into nice neat lines.

What is it that calls me to that work?  It gnaws at me even as I settle safely into that acceptable level pain.

Interrupting that call, I hear the voices of a million people in my head each one working to be freed. They are the characters that people need that women need. Characters they rejoice in whom they connect with: the Edith bunkers; The Florence Jean Castleberries; the Miss Piggy's. Those voices emanate from me and escape into the ether as I choose to hold on.

The nameless faceless women who wait to be seen ache for these characters to speak.

These women, who wait to be validated. To be rescued.

No victim, she, this woman who waits. She is upholding the very fabric of our democracy. she edits and teaches. And does your taxes. Sells your homes. She manages your office. She coordinates your lives.  She raises children and teaches workshops.

She isn't conscious of the waiting. She's been sold a set of rules to which she adheres without question. Without need for validation. The rules are what keep her together. They're what keep her safe. They take up her time so that she has no chance to stop and...

Let it go.

Ode to Words

I love words
I love words that whimper
I love words that scream

I love words that come roaring up from the darkest places to air themselves in the sun.

I love words that make me cry and words that make me run.

I love words that are infinite and unintelligible and wrap their meanings  around your core until they become you.

I love the words that lovers speak.
I love the words of hate.

I love dark words, light words, purple words and orange words.
I love words only dogs and cats and birds and monkeys speak and I race them around in my head trying to make sense.

I love the words of art and politics and anger and righteousness and I love the words of peace and unity and commune and god.

I love that we have words and I love that we use them.

Words fill me up until I can do nothing but spill them out onto the pavement clattering into the bucket of the internet...where You just found them.

Can't wait to see what happens next.

What is Truth?

In the debates of ideology in the media (social and otherwise) after this surge of terror attacks, I find myself in awe of righteous speakers who are certain they have a grasp on the Truth.  I can only believe that the moment I latch on to thinking something in these debates is 'True' I see another perspective that changes the nature of the truth I thought I knew.

So today I wonder . . . 


Truth is the story we tell.  (So why does 'telling a story' mean to LIE?)

Truth is multi-faceted and tangled.  I can pull one strand of the Truth out and create a lie.

Truth is confused with Dogma.  And they are terrible bedfellows.

Truth is both light and dark and all the spaces in-between, not to mention mercurial in nature.

Truth is what we all long for when we look for love.

Truth is what we hide as soon as we find love.

Truth is fact, but facts don't always equal Truth.

Truth is kind, cruel, friendly, angry, stark, fulfilling, terrifying and the purest of comforts.

But, mostly, Truth is a pursuit, a journey, a commitment, a promise and it is . . . 

The face in the mirror.

Dark Part of the Day

This is the dark part of the day.
Where light is only seen and arrows of remembered failure are set around your heart.

This is the dark part of the day.
Where all you know is trumped by what you feel and all you feel is fault.

This is the dark part of the day.
Where others work and give their talents to the world and you are stifled by fear.

This is the dark part of the day, so,


It will pass.

And the light will warm you slowly.
As the blessings that surround you  rise.

Yes, one more hour of failure
But not one day, or week, or year.

This is the dark and it is good.
It says you are allowed to feel.
It cries out your inconvenient sorrows;
The ones you never knew,
The ones you rationalize away,
The ones you stuff with food.

This is the dark part of the day and it is good, but it isn't where you live.

Branding Myself

It's a hot topic these days, isn't it?  Branding . . . it isn't just for Pepsi any more.  Apparently everyone needs to develop their personal brand.  Especially if you are in sales or own a business that needs to be marketed.  So today I'd like to share A Woman of Means brand new logo . . .

What do you think?  More importantly, what do you guys think of this concept of 'personal brands'?  Have you created one?  Or has your company asked you to?

A Woman of Means is my blogging, v-logging, speaking and teaching 'brand' and has been since I started my Twitter account two years or so ago.  And this month, I'm actually using it.

More on that later!

Image Problem

I  have heard the words 'Image Problem' many times in the past.   Maybe that's because I live in Los Angeles where 'images' are the heart and sole of the industry that birthed this city.

Not being a celebrity I have never given the term much thought, but this morning something crystallized for me.  I might just have an image problem and am wondering how many of us do.

I'm not talking about an image problem where millions of theatre going fans think you are a horrible person because you scowl at TMZ.  I'm talking about how we see ourselves.

Often I will wake up with a destructive diatribe in my head.   Maybe some of you can relate?  It's the voice that makes it though to get out of bed... For me these days it's stuff like "What are you doing with your life?" "Why haven't you accomplished more in the 8 months since you left your successful, well-paying job.?"  "What's wrong with you?"  "And while we're at it....what is up with you eating all that chocolate yesterday?"  "How weak can you be?"

As I turned to the usual techniques for silencing this voice (I am happy to share if others have need of them) the words 'You have an Image Problem' made their way above the din.

This voice,  the one I have finally learned to discern above the constant chatter,  went on to say 'If only you could see yourself as others see you.'

As I started to argue the common meaning of the term with the voice I heard a command. ...'get up and write'!

So here I am, writing my first blog post for 2015 with a promise.  (Shunning the word resolution)

This year I am going to address my image problem. 

Is anyone else ready to accept the praise and support of friends (and even perfect strangers) as our image reality?  How about being ready to kick that critical voice to the curb and seek out reminders of the kind words people have offered?

If I get a few shouts and likes on this one I will be sure to post more on what I'm doing to I clean up my image this year:-)


Living in LA gives one a new perspective on rain.  It is probably because the denizens of this city aren't accustomed to paying attention to nature.  Appointments are canceled and dinners rescheduled, rather like the 'snow days' I grew up with in the Carolinas.  Schools and Businesses close while the northern states laugh.  As southerners we knew that going out in the snow just didn't make sense - no one would be clearing the roads because it was likely to melt in 24 hours - or 3 or 4.

The rest of the country has a good laugh at Los Angelenos' response to rain as well, but I have learned that, in fact, the roads are dangerous in the rain.  Sometimes it just isn't worth it to venture out.  Most likely because most people here shouldn't drive on wet roads with impaired vision.  (They run the chance of dropping their cellphones.)

If you're wondering if my meteorological ramblings are going anywhere, the answer is - I hope so!

Rainy Days in LA force us to SLOW DOWN.  When we are forced to slow down we have the opportunity to take stock.  But do we take it?  Today I'm taking stock of the things I'd like to clear out, not out of my closet, but out of my brain and my heart.

I'm not sure what to do with the things I find yet, but the first step has to be to identify them.  Have you done a recent inventory of your thoughts and feelings?  Do they all serve you?  Or are you spending valuable time rehashing and reliving past experiences?  Care to join me?

My hope when we finish this exercise is to make more space and time for the things with which we want to fill our heads and hearts.

After all, the best thing about a rainy day in LA is what it does to the sky the day after.  The laden air becomes clear and you feel as though you were starring in an MGM musical - sweeping sets and all.

Then again, I often feel like I'm starring in an MGM musical. You?

Focus and Determination

Very little gets accomplished in life without focus and determination.  While watching nature I am struck by the fact that every living thing seems to move with a purpose through its life.  Weeds grow proudly through cement.  Dogs and children exhibit moments of such perfect concentration that I feel lacking.

What happened to my focus and determination?  Have you ever wondered for yourself?  What would I do if I knew instinctively what every next move should be?  But I am, at best, distracted by all things.  My focus seems to be forever split or quadrupled.  And this is the problem I have had in the past with consistent blogging or journaling.  In the past 5 years I have often sat staring at the screen focusing on any possible obstacle to my writing, rather than pulling up a subject and diving in.

To that end I am challenging myself to write daily on a topic that I will devise upon waking and will not sleep until I have posted about the topic.  I will do this for 88 days.

If I am determined to write daily I have the chance of forming a much needed habit.  Wish me well!

A Woman of Means Wakes Up

A Woman of Means is a title that came to me two years ago shortly after finding World Financial Group and choosing to change my relationship with finances.  However, as time passed I saw that it meant so much more than a twitter handle that my hotel employer wouldn't understand.  It was my key to freedom ad my path back to myself.

The word 'means' is defined as    1. (functioning as singular or plural) the medium, method, or instrument used to obtain a result or achieve an end: a means of communication. (

The word is rarely used today as it once was, which was as a synonym for money or wealth.  It appeals to me because I have attained many 'means' in my lifetime, whereas money has been a struggle for me until recently.

We most commonly hear 'a means to an end' as a turn of phrase with a Machiavellian connotation, but the phrase could just as easily refer to positive methods of achieving one's goals.

It is to this purpose which inspires me to launch this blog.  I would like to share the means by which I've come to my own successes in life while helping others achieve their own goals.

A Woman of Means is moving out of mind and into the world.

May we all find guidance, humor and success herein.