As wedding professionals, we have all perfected the silent cringe. It has been employed for a long time for scenarios such as – “We don’t need a planner” or “We’ll just use my (insert music curating device here) for the DJ!” More and more prevalent is the ‘Friend Trend’. That’s where the couple has decided to entrust the wedding ceremony to “Our Best Friend” (Or dad, or cousin, etc . . . ) You may not see the cringe, but it’s there.
I get it, when we visualize our wedding day, there’s rarely a page for the officiant. You may already know it will be your minister, priest or rabbi. And they certainly know what they’re doing. So why think much about it? What’s there to plan?
This is why having a friend or family member perform your ceremony seems like a great thing to do. This person has been important in one way or another to you, your family, your story as a couple and it feels right and special to have them lead you through your vows. There’s only one thing . . . a wedding ceremony is not just a recitation of vows.
No matter what your personal beliefs may be, (my focus is ‘spiritual, not religious’), a wedding ceremony is a ritual. It has a purpose that involves group focus. Without devolving into a discussion of ‘energy’, which tends to be a cue for logical brains to check out, let me ask you why you are getting married?
You have already chosen one another. This is the person to whom you have already committed yourself. Why have a wedding? (See Blog Post ) The short answer is community. Being married says to the world that you are committed to one another. When you walk down the aisle before the ceremony you are already twin flames. It is the ‘job’ of the ceremony to have you walk back down that aisle having received the acknowledgement and support of your community. The wedding ceremony itself is meant to be transformative.
Taking this into account . . . can you still see your best friend creating this for you? Or, does it seem like a lot to ask? But there’s no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, to coin a (horrifying) phrase. If you’d like to know more about how to incorporate that special person with professional assistance to conduct the ceremony, please visit www.ebmcdonald.com and contact me.